Crude, Rude (but funny) Joke....

I found this joke to be hilarious and I just had to share!! This is a warning though - it could be a little rude so don't read if you are not into this type of humour...hehehehe




HOW TO STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE

A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough. After a few
seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals,
Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey

The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!

With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress,
yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of
her butt.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction
flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. Bluey swaggered
back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody
Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody
do it.'

Aussie Slang

After reading this blog by Sarah it got me thinking this would be fun for me to put all the Aussie terms we use on here. It will really make our overseas friends laugh, roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders - I am sure!!!

We all hear these sayings (and use lots of them ourselves). Anyway, let me know what you think and if you get a laugh out of some of these (and come on Aussie girls, help me out with a few more you can think of)....

“She'll be Apples” ... everything will be all right

Hard Yakka ... hard work

Thunderbox ... toilet

Barbie ... barbeque

“I could Eat a horse” ... to be very hungry

“Fair crack of the whip!” ... come on, give me a fair chance

Bludge ... to be lazy

A bush pig ... an ugly woman

Chunder ... to vomit

Rat bag ... obnoxious person

Ring-in ... an imposter

Cobber... old friend or mate

Googie ... egg

Dead horse ... tomato sauce

“Happy as a pig in mud” ... very happy

Dilly-dally ... waste time

Dunny... toilet

Fair dinkum ... really, honestly?

“Flat out like a lizard drinking” ... to do something fast (one of my favs!!)

Grog ... alcohol

To come a gutzer / gutza ... to get hurt, have an accident

To be jack of something ... to be fed up with something

Pat Malone ...to do something on your own

Thongs ... rubber sandals, flip flops

Tucker... food

Ute ... utility, a type of motor vehicle (a pick up truck in USA )

"In a Fortnight" ... fourteen nights away